11/20/2005 09:24:00 AM|||murderface|||

How soon we forget.

Remember how you felt at 9AM on September 11, 2001? Do you really remember? I don't think so. Do you remember how scared you were? Do you recall the feeling you had when you learned that attacks were happening simultaneously across the country? I don't think so. Your boldness today is an insult to history. It's easy to be brave and wise when the biggest risk in your life is having a Sorority Girl beat you over the head with her iPod.

What would you do about it? What is your amazing plan of action? How would you answer your critics? Remind me never to count on you for protection. Tell me how you would make us feel confident and safe when the first car bomb explodes underneath the stands of a packed football stadium. What would your "reaction" be?

Reaction is for the lazy. Too late buddy.

This Week's Weekly Reader News:

- Top 5 Original Fast Food Items (must be an original menu item - McRibs, etc. not permitted):
1. Foot-Long Chili Dog (DQ)
2. Beef Soft Taco (Taco Bell)
3. Filet O Fish (McDs)
4. KFC Original Recipe
5. Whopper with Cheese (BK)

- So you want to be a gangster?

- Top 5 Bands Kids Under the Age of 27 should be exposed to:
1. Black Sabbath (Ozzy version only)
2. Fleetwood Mac (Stevie Nicks version only)
3. Suicidal Tendencies
4. Nirvana (Bleach)
5. Loretta Lynn

- When you pretend that all the kids with white earphones are listening to the following message being read by Porky Pig over and over and over, it really brightens your day:
"Right foot forward...Left foot forward...Take a drag off your cigarette...Do not stray from the pack...Left, Right, Left, Right, Left...You are not an individual, please select an image for yourself and proceed to the cash register."

- Whachu Talkin' About Willis?

- Remember folks, always share beer with your neighbors.

- Life's goal should be to have people refer to you as a "character".

- Get that out of your mouth.

- Have a good week folks - watch out for land sharks.

Love,
Murderface

|||113249776154184641|||Silent, But Violent